Beaker's Dozen by Nancy Kress

Author:Nancy Kress [Kress, Nancy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

The next day, I drive down to the Food Mart parking lot.

There isn’t much to see. It rained last night. Next to the dumpster lie a wadded-up surgical glove and a piece of yellow tape like the police use around a crime scene. Also some of those little black cardboard boxes from the stuff that gets used up by the new holographic TV cameras. That’s it.

“You heard what happened to Dr. Bennett?” I say to Sean at dinner. Jack’s working again. Jackie sits playing with the Barbie doll she doesn’t know I know she has on her lap.

Sean looks at me sideways, under the heavy fringe of his dark bangs, and I can’t read his expression. “He was killed for giving out too many antibiotics.”

Jackie looks up. “Who killed the doctor?”

“The bastards that think they run this town,” Sean says. He flicks the hair out of his eyes. His face is ashy gray. “Fucking vigilantes’ll get us all.”

“That’s enough, Sean,” I say.

Jackie’s lip trembles. “Who’ll get us all? Mommy . . .”

“Nobody’s getting anybody,” I say. “Sean, stop it. You’re scaring her.”

“Well, she should be scared,” Sean says, but he shuts up and stares bleakly at his plate. Sixteen now, I’ve had him for sixteen years. Watching him, his thick dark hair and sulky mouth, I think that it’s a sin to have a favorite child. And that I can’t help it, and that I would, God forgive me, sacrifice both Jackie and Jack for this boy.

“I want you to clean the garage tonight, Sean. You promised Jack three days ago now.”

“Tomorrow. Tonight I have to go out.”

Jackie says, “Why should I be scared?”

“Tonight,” I say.

Sean looks at me with teenage desperation. His eyes are very blue. “Not tonight, I have to go out.”

Jackie says, “Why should I—”

I say, “You’re staying home and cleaning the garage.”

“No.” He glares at me, and then breaks. He has his father’s looks, but he’s not really like his father. There are even tears in the corners of his eyes. “I’ll do it tomorrow, Mom, I promise. Right after school. But tonight I have to go out,”

“Where?”

“Just out.”

Jackie says, “Why should I be scared? Scared of what? Mommy!”

Sean turns to her. “You shouldn’t be scared, Jack-o-lantern. Everything’s going to be all right. One way or another.”

I listen to the tone of his voice and suddenly fear shoots through me, piercing as childbirth. I say, “Jackie, you can play Nintendo now. I’ll clear the table.”

Her face brightens. She skips into the living room and I look at my son. “What does that mean? ‘One way or another’ ? Sean, what’s going on?”

“Nothing,” he says, and then despite his ashy color he looks me straight in the eyes, and smiles tenderly, and for the first time—the very first time—I see his resemblance to his father. He can lie to me with tenderness.

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